Return to Wonderland
by AliceInScribbleLand
Summary: Rachel is kidnapped by the Queen of Hearts, in an attempt to coax Cuddy in returning to Wonderland.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So this is kind of a House/Alice in Wonderland Crossover Parody whatever… Anyways kind of based on the concept of Hook… the main character returning to their story as an adult to save their child blah blah blah… anyways add in a little of the snark from American McGee's Alice and voila! The first chapter isn't the greatest, but bear with me I have high hopes for the story overall. For those of you following my other stories, please don't kill me updates are on their way. Thanks! And as always, please let me know what ya'll think :)

It was the rare occasion Cuddy let herself go out, since she had adopted Rachel. She spent so much time at work already, that she usually rushed home to be with her daughter. However once in a while, usually at House's request, she would call the babysitter and spend an evening out with him.

Their friendship was still shaky, both parties still worried about getting hurt. So far, they had kept it at nothing more than friendship. After the hooker/desk incident, she swore she wouldn't let him hurt her again. She never brought it up to him. Throughout the past year and a half, he had been there for she and Rachel more times than Cuddy could count. It warmed her heart to see the small subtle changes in him, he was trying.

So when he had asked her to go out with him on Friday night, she had agreed. They went to dinner, he even let her take him shopping, and ended up seeing a movie after that. It was a great night overall. They were both relaxed and slowly starting to open up to each other. It had happened more than once that night, that she had caught him slipping his hand to her back to steer her.

The minute they pulled up to Cuddy's house, she knew something was wrong. If she had thought about it, she would have told House to leave right away. But, she was too worried about Rachel to process the, all too familiar, unease in the air.

The couple made their way to her door. Her hands were trembling as she fumbled with the lock. House notice and reached over to steady her, guiding her smaller hand. She could feel her heart pounding, and prayed that Rachel was safe.

As they walked inside, they were plunged into complete darkness. House yelled out to the babysitter, but was met with only silence. "Greg?" Cuddy whimpered, softly. He let her lead him to Rachel's room.

Instead of finding her precious baby, there was an unfamiliar object lying under the covers. Standing behind Cuddy, House placed both hands on her arms and watched over her shoulder. She lifted the covers and pulled up the object to see it better, it was a single red rose with sharp jagged roses.

"Oh god," she whispered, realization washing over her.

Slowly her house faded away and they were left standing in a rather dense patch of woods. Cuddy had her eyes closed tight; something happening to Rachel was bad enough, but she really didn't want to see the absence of her home surrounding them. She could already smell it, knowing far too well where they were.

"Lisa," House stuttered, "Where are we?"

She laughed bitterly and turned to face him, "The Tulgey Woods."


	2. Chapter 2

"_Lisa," House stuttered, "Where are we?" _

_She laughed bitterly and turned to face him, "The Tulgey Woods."_

XXXXXXXX

"The what?" He asked, confused. "What the hell is going on?"

She wasn't sure how much time they would have before something troublesome was bound to show up. "House you are beyond out of your element here. I'm not trying to start a fight, just dammit now more than ever please just do what I say. Stay quiet and just follow my lead. I promise once we reach somewhere safe, I'll explain everything." She pleaded with him.

He looked down into her eyes and saw that they were filled with worry. It unnerved him to see her looking so desperate. House could do nothing, but nod his consent.

Cuddy heard a noise behind her, and cocked her head listening. A strange look crossed her face, part grin part snarl. She spun around and focused on a fallen log nearby.

"Here kitty kitty," she said in a singsong voice.

A rather large cat crawled out and made its way to stand just in front of her. He sat on his hind legs and looked up at her amused. "My my child, how you've grown," the cat almost hissed.

House had never seen a cat so large. Sitting like that, his head reached just above Cuddy's waist. Despite his height, he was rather thin. House thought his fur looked striped with its black coat and dark brown patterns, but his coat was so scruffy that it was hard to tell. He had never seen a cat with so many damn teeth though. He noticed as the cat grinned up at Cuddy, that they looked far more dangerous than what belonged in a cat's mouth.

"And you've grown quite mangy cat," she said, with mock innocence.

"I see your attitude hasn't changed," the feline growled.

She shrugged her shoulders, indifferently.

"I hope your skills have improved, resourcefulness will get you everywhere."

She stepped up towards the cat and scratched behind his ears. He arched into her hand and purred before continuing. "Be cunning Elisia, she's been planning this for some time."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, already tired of the games. House watched her in mild amazement. It was like looking at a totally different person. He had always admired her confidence, but here it was so much more.

"She fears you and that makes her desperate and desperation makes her dangerous. Do not take my warning lightly."

She moved her hand to scratch between his shoulder blades. "I assume Rachel is safe?"

"The child is still innocent yes, she cannot be harmed yet. She merely plans to lure you with it."

Cuddy nodded, satisfied with the answer. "How did she escape? That lock should have held."

"It did. She had help," he held a paw up to stop her questioning as he continued, "I don't know who, but I have some _associates_ looking into it."

"She's back at her castle then?" Cuddy asked.

The cat nodded.

"How much more of my life does she plan on taking?" Cuddy asked, frustrated.

"I told you that you should have stayed to oversee thing's here." The cat said looking at his nails on one paw.

"This isn't my life anymore. I put things back in order; I'm tired of cleaning up her messes." She sighed, knowing deep down that he was right. They needed her here.

"You should know that she's trying to cross over again. The boundaries are unstable at the moment, things ending up where they do not belong."

Cuddy sighed. "Are my things still safe?"

The cat grinned and arched an eyebrow at her. "Of course, have I ever let you down before?"

She smirked at him, "We should go then." She looked apprehensively at the dusky light already setting in on the woods. "It will be night soon."

He pointed a paw at House's leg, "There are things here to fix that Elisia, and you cannot do this alone."

She nodded and kissed the top of the feline's head, hugging him gently. He tried to squirm away from her, but she succeeded in her actions.

"We'll see you soon cat," she said, smiling fondly at the creature.

Grabbing House's hand, she led him away from the clearing and down a narrow path.


	3. Chapter 3

As they walked through the woods, House's mind swarmed with questions. The pieces were adding up, but not in any form that he liked. House was logical by nature. If this was the place he thought, there was nothing logical about it. He was drawn out of his thoughts by Cuddy tugging on his hand. She was trying to pull him along faster.

"I know your leg hurts, but we need to hurry," she urged, checking the sky once more. On top of the sun setting, there were storm clouds rolling in. They looked far from friendly. "We need to hurry," she urged, quietly. Looking around she paused for a moment, trying to gauge their location. "This place is more dangerous than it looks," she added, trying to smile weakly at him. "As soon as we get to my cottage I can give you something to help."

"Right," he grumbled, sarcastically. House studied her skeptically, if she could fix his leg, or even lessen the pain, she would have done it years ago. Having no real choice but to trust her, he nodded his head and began to walk. As they kept moving, his thoughts once more trailed to those of panic. She had been right; he was definitely out of his element.

Cuddy shot a few worried glances in his direction. She wished that she could explain everything to him, right then. Her first priority had to be to get them to shelter though. With a newfound determination, Cuddy led them through the narrow paths of the forest.

Looking around, House noticed that the trees were growing closer together the deeper they went. It wasn't that there were more of them they were just much wider. These trees in this section of the forest seemed older than those along the outskirts. House looked towards the sky and realized he could no longer see it. The visual canopy was nothing but branches and leaves. Despite the overhang, the rain began to beat down on them.

Cuddy turned down, yet, another path. It seemed confusing at first, but she had spent plenty of time roaming them. She could navigate these woods as well as she could the halls of her own hospital. Cuddy knew that to strangers the wandered paths all looked the same. Checking the sky once more she silently cursed, she needed to get them home before dark.

House would never be able to navigate through the forest on his own. The idea of losing him shook her nerves more than she would like to admit. Stopping briefly, she turned to make sure House was still relatively close. His silence worried her. She couldn't help but wonder if he was scared. She tried to offer him a smile, but knew he could see through her façade of confidence. The guilt she normally felt towards House had doubled; he was only caught up in this because of her.

As they continued to walk, House tilted his head back, occasionally taking in mouthfuls of rain. Not having any idea how Cuddy was navigating, House spent his time studying her. Her once slow and sultry movements were now quick and purposeful. Instead of being her calm and controlled self, he could practically see her calculating each and every decision. She was alert and aware of everything around them.

A loud screech echoed through the forest. House blood ran cold as the sound shot straight to his bones. Looking to Cuddy for an explanation, he noticed that she'd stopped moving completely.

Cuddy took several deep breaths, before she could function again. She knew that noise and wanted nothing to do with the creature that made it, the creature that had hunted her both in this world and her dreams. "We need to move faster," she said.

Her words were so quiet that House had to move closer to hear. "Show me where," he said, resting a hand on her lower back. She was soaked and shivering and he wanted nothing more than to pull her to him.

Strands of her now drenched hair stuck to the sides of her face. Looking up at him with wide terrified eyes, Cuddy nodded. "Okay," she said, trying to act brave. She began to lead him once more, deeper into the woods.

As the rain picked up, House began to have trouble navigating the dirt paths. More than once he'd almost lost his balance. He'd never been one to ask for help, but he knew she was serious about needing to get to shelter.

Just as he'd made up his mind to ask her, she'd moved next to him. Slipping his right arm around her shoulder, she smiled up at him in understanding. She didn't want him to have to ask. Her only fear was that he wouldn't accept the gesture.

He hated needing help and he couldn't ever tell her how grateful he was that she didn't feel the need to talk about it. Squeezing her shoulder in thanks, he made an effort to move as fast as he was now able.

After about ten more minutes, Cuddy stopped in front of one of the more massive trees. It was in a small clearing that didn't seem to have any distinguishing features from any of the other clearing's they'd passed. "We're here," Cuddy said, obviously relieved.

"It's a tree," House deadpanned. If this was their sanctuary, he realized, they were screwed. He glanced around the forest, not sure what sort of danger he was looking for. He wasn't even sure he'd recognize danger in a place like this.

Cuddy looked up at him grinning, it was the happiest she had looked since they got there. "Not just any tree." She wiped the hair and water off her face, before moving directly in front of the overgrowth. Moving vines out of her way, Cuddy traced the outline of a door, which obviously wasn't there. Reaching for the nonexistent doorknob, she began to turn it.

"What are you doing?" House asked, clearly worrying for her sanity. Running nervous fingers through his own drenched hair, he suddenly realized how cold he was.

"Unlocking my door," she said, laughing, "unless, you want to stay out here in the rain." Turning the knob first to the left, then twice to the right, a wooden door appeared and opened. Grabbing his hand, she began to lead him downwards on narrow spiraling steps.

House noticed that even though they seemed to be going lower and lower underground, the lighting never dimmed. He saw no visible source for the lights, but the entire stairwell seemed to be basked in a dull golden haze.

Cuddy stopped when she reached the dead end at the bottom of the stairs. Reaching above her blindly into the one small dark abyss, she pulled down on a root that was hanging. The door opened with a whoosh and they stepped forward. The door shut once more, as they stepped into a darkened room.


	4. Chapter 4

Moving adeptly through the darkened room, Cuddy found a box of matches. She began to light various lamps and candles sporadically throughout the room. Her movements were quiet and calm. Being in the home she had long ago abandoned, left her feeling peaceful albeit a bit mournful.

House watched her movements silently. Propped against the wall, he realized he was beginning to feel strange. Spotting a medium sized bed, he walked over to it. With each step, he noticed the ache in his thigh was worse than usual. They had been walking over uneven terrain for a while. It was no wonder he was sore. Pulling his vicoden out, it rattled as he begin to undo the top.

"Don't take anything," Cuddy said, as soon as the rattle of pills hit her ears. "What I have will work much better," she added, smiling sympathetically at him. Cuddy had noticed the extra effort it was taking him to move and stopped what she was doing. The room was nearly fully lit already, she could stop.

Laying on top of the bed, House waited. The silence between them didn't feel awkward. Had they been any other two people his questions would have already been asked and her answers given. Sensing the difference in her body language, House understood that what she was going to explain would not be easy.

Cuddy couldn't help feeling a little homesick at being in this world again. Despite her outer despise, it hadn't been all bad. There was a reason, after all, why it was called _Wonder_land. Moving to the small kitchen area, Cuddy began to gather the things that she would need.

Rubbing his thigh, House took in the details of the room. It was a large square room, completely open except for a bathroom in one corner. The three other corners were organized into a kitchen, bathroom, and living room. There were only two unusual features about the room, outside of it being underground. Instead of being in the bathroom, there was a large sunken tub in the dead center of the room. The other strange aspect, was the giant wardrobe next to the bathroom. It was immense, reaching all the way up to the ceiling. There were several locks on the doors, leaving House with more questions about Cuddy and her past.

Cuddy moved around the kitchen mixing the ingredients of various bottles. Her first disappointment came when she realized that she had neglected to replenish her own stash of the medicines this world offered. She had never planned to come back and therefore had never bothered to prepare things when she left. Now she would have to settle for mixing something to ease his pain for the night.

"Hey Cuddy?" House called out, sounding more relaxed than he should. Even though he was staring right at her, he failed to notice her cringe at his tone. "Why's the room spinning?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, worriedly. Despite her instinct to check on him, she finished what she was doing before walking over to her bed. As she finished filling the vile with the last ingredient, she made her way over to him.

"You're really pretty Cuddy," House said, grinning in a manner that was nothing like his own. He laughed goofily and reached out for her hand, missing it completely.

"Shit," Cuddy hissed under her breath. She rolled her eyes, as she watched House plucking at the empty air.

"Why are there flowers underground?" he asked confused. He turned to her looking worried. With a completely serious tone he asked, "We are underground, right?"

She stared at him in complete disbelief. She knew he didn't understand the severity of the situation they were in, but it still annoyed her. "You drank the rain didn't you?"

House looked up at her and tried to tug her closer. When she wouldn't budge, his face fell slightly. Trying to look both serious and innocent, he whined, "I was thirsty."

"Dammit House," she hissed, "The rain her has hallucinogens in it!" She sighed, resting one hand on her hip and the other covering half her face. Staring at him for a moment, she tried to access the damage.

"Well it's not like I knew. You didn't tell me," He whined, staring at the bed. He knew it was just the drugs, but it seemed like the blanket was inching, much like a worm, across her bed towards him.

"I didn't realize I had to tell you not to act like a child," she laughed bitterly. "Of course I should have realized. You always find trouble." Sitting down on the bed next to him, she felt defeated. Not only was she up against some of the toughest challenges in her life, she had House tagging along making her job twice as hard.

House sat on the bed silently, still distracted by the creeping blanket. It was now curled around both him and Cuddy. A corner moved out and wrapped itself around her wrist affectionately. House wanted to ask her about what he was seeing, but had a feeling it would only irriate her further.

"Here," Cuddy said dejectedly, "Take this." Handing him the vial of purple liquid, she said, "These will take care of the pain at least. We'll have to wait until tomorrow to fix your leg. I didn't have everything I needed."

House nodded, more transfixed with the color of the drink than her words. It looked almost electric with intensity. Shrugging it off as less strange than some of the other events of the day, he swallowed the mix in one gulp.

Cuddy offered House a feeble smile. The events of the day were catching up to her and she was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed. When House kept staring at her dreamily, she groaned, "Go to sleep House."

House tried to watch Cuddy move through the room, blowing various candles out. However, he was constantly distracted by the multi-colored stars rushing at him. The only light left in the room, was the lamp hanging over the sunken tub. It basked the room in a soft glow.

Cuddy climbed into bed, as House watched the blanket once again appear to climb over onto her body and snuggle around her. "I miss Rachel," she said, a little defeated. Things were not supposed to get this complicated. Curling into an almost fetal position, she was surprised to find House placing an unsure hand on her hip.

House didn't know how to react, when she smiled at him gratefully over her shoulder. She had seemed stronger that day than he'd ever seen; she had been almost unrecognizable in manner. Now, in the dimly lit room underground, he saw that she was the same Cuddy as always albeit a little broken. "Sleep Cuddy," he said, gruffly. He couldn't handle her teary grey eyes any longer.

Smirking lazily, Cuddy turned back onto her side and lay her head on her pillow. Her hand covered his, keeping it trapped on her hip. As she mentally planned out there next day in Wonderland, House counted the clouds bouncing around inside the room. As both parties relaxed, Cuddy tugged House's hand down on to her belly and fell into an exhausted but tense sleep.


End file.
